I find it quite embarrassing to have attempted to be a blogger time after time since my sophomore year of high school and still not actually be one. I write this now (as a junior in college) and honestly am impressed at the dedication of my younger self. I recently went through my YouTube channel archives and found videos of baby me talking about my school morning routine, my favorite makeup products and things I was learning on my Zoom Bible studies (thanks Covid!).
The thing that makes me ponder the most is the fact that I used to fully believe that my life and story was worth documenting… whole heartily, I had convinced my high school boyfriend to follow me around the neighborhood with his camera to get “content” for my blog. I really believed that I had something to say– a story to share. What happened to that confidence? That desire to share?
At the time of my first real go at being a blogger, I was merely 16. As I sit here today and write this at the ripe age of 21, I can see how much I have grown in almost every area of my life since that first rooky attempt. I think fear, distraction, and shame have kept me from writing more. I look back and can identify a few key experiences in my life over the past few years that have pushed writing to the back burner. There was fear about what others would think of me if I *actually* blogged and shared regularly. There was distraction all around as so many things competed for my attention and adoration. There was shame in the fact that pieces of my life were changing in ways I had never imagined they would and I didn’t exactly know who I was or where my life was going. All of these things felt overwhelming to combat as a 18 year old. So I simply just stopped. I left publishing writing on a cliff hanger, for years I never logged into WordPress because I felt like I had lost my voice and worth. I felt like I had failed and so I simply just pretended that I had never once had a burning passion to share my story and words with others.
Young adulthood is a time when we are constantly being asked what we will do, where we will live, what we will study, etc. It is exhausting to try and answer everyone’s questions. As I round for the last lap of my college journey later this year, I see an opportunity to just go for it. With one year left of traditional college experience to live through, my question is, “Why the heck not?!” I will never have this much unstructured time again in my life. I ought to at least give it a try.
If you’ve made it this far: Thank you. Welcome to the rebirth of my storytelling.
I hope to share more about my life as a Resident Assistant, Student Teacher, and Christian woman just trying to get by day by day.
Until next time. ❤️ Macy
Macy Elizabeth Shealy 